


things that go bump in the night

by jefferoni (CrowleysGlasses)



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bad Puns, Fluff, Halloween, James Madison loves puns, Jefferson hates halloween, M/M, They work in an office, like i said this is just fluff and bad puns, no beta we die like men, pure fluff, thats all this is, unedited
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-30
Updated: 2020-10-30
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:26:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27285640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrowleysGlasses/pseuds/jefferoni
Summary: Jefferson hates Halloween. He despises it. He hates the stupid costumes, the dumb obsession with horror movies, the kids that ring his doorbell all evening and into the night begging for sweets.But most importantly, he absolutely despises how jumpy he is. How easily scared he is. How simple it is to get a ridiculously girly scream out of him, just someone jumping out on him rips a terrified shout from him.Even more than that, perhaps the most, he hates how the office takes advantage of that.-Or, Hamilton and Madison give Jefferson a scare.
Relationships: Alexander Hamilton/James Madison, Alexander Hamilton/Thomas Jefferson, Alexander Hamilton/Thomas Jefferson/James Madison, Thomas Jefferson/James Madison
Comments: 6
Kudos: 65





	things that go bump in the night

**Author's Note:**

> okay so i wrote this in one sitting for the PSA (Pun Appreciation Squad), so its filled with awful puns and fake suspense. Just supposed to be some short, crack like, jamilmads fluff. Cause they deserve it. Enjoy!

Jefferson hates Halloween. He despises it. He hates the stupid costumes, the dumb obsession with horror movies, the kids that ring his doorbell all evening and into the night begging for sweets. 

But most importantly, he absolutely  _ despises _ how jumpy he is. How easily scared he is. How simple it is to get a ridiculously girly scream out of him, just someone jumping out on him rips a terrified shout from him.

Even more than that, perhaps the most, he hates how the office takes advantage of that.

He knows it's Halloween, not based on the calendar, nor the sudden influx of party-sized bags of Snickers in every Walmart store, but by the dumb fucking 'scary' decorations littering every square inch of his office.

Goddamn it, everyone in the building is above thirty! How are they all so damn childish-? He'll never know.

Thomas physically winces at all the  _ horrendous _ puns hanging in the office.

_ "Resting witch face" _ actually made him groan with dismay as he passed it, the puns got worse every damn year. 

There was a shiny, orange plastic banner hung in almost every room, made to look like pumpkins. They were often accompanied by black streamers, and when he stopped off in the break room, he found the coffee machine covered in fake cobwebs and plastic spiders.

Thomas sighs as he pushes the decorations off to pour himself a coffee, "that must be some sort of safety hazard," he mutters, stuffing his hands in his pockets. He watches his coffee pour, the air around him cool and quiet. His humming, usually silenced by the buzzing atmosphere, is a clear tune for once. It doesn't hit him until he's sipping from his mug while walking down the hall towards his office how…  _ quiet it is. _

_ It's so impossibly eerie… _

Thomas takes a louder sip, hoping to alert the bat-eared Alexander. The man's biggest pet peeve was always people slurping their drinks, could always seem to hear it from offices away and would come storming in to insist they  _ stop. _

But one of his boyfriend’s does not come. Not even a whip of the man's emerald green coat tails fly down the hall. It's beginning to- not scare him. No, he's not scared, he's… apprehensive. Worried. On edge. It unnerves him, even as he pushes into his office. Still silent. Madison doesn’t appear with Alexander, the both of them are nowhere to be found. Neither of them. 

Thomas takes another drink from his mug, slurping again and burning his tongue. "Ouch," he hisses through his teeth and places the mug down on his desk, leans on it and peers around. 

_ Were the lights always off in the hallway?  _

It feels ridiculous, a horror movie move, but he narrows his eyes. It's so quiet. Like the office has been deserted. Is it a day off and he merely hasn't been alerted? Surely Washington would've sent an email, and Thomas would've seen it! He reads his emails religiously every morning, an hour after he wakes as he scrolls through the news reported on through the night. 

"Hello-?" He finally calls, suspicious. "Is- is anyone there?" He swallows thickly. A slow creeping eerie feeling grows in his chest, a little swelling bubble of anxiety. His office door is ajar, showing off the dark hallways.

There's nothing. 

Thomas sticks his head out the doorway and suddenly there's something and it's  _ jumping _ at him and he stumbles backwards with a yelp until he loses his footing as the  _ thing  _ screams.

Then the lights flicker on. 

Thomas groans, rubbing his forehead. He had landed on the ground, thankfully his office was carpeted. There's laughter, and a hand on his shoulder.

"Gotcha," the voice is smug as Thomas opens his eyes. Fucking Hamilton. Of course it's Hamilton dammit. "We tried to scare you in the break room but you moved-!"

"We-?" Thomas stares back at the doorway and of course- James is standing there, laughing to himself. He has a wide grin, eyes clustering with tears in the corners that occasionally drip down his cheeks. He wipes under his eyes with his thumbs. “I should’ve guessed-” Thomas scowled, getting ready to push himself to his feet, but Alexander sets a hand on his shoulder, sitting down on the floor beside him, crossing his legs to sit criss-cross (apple sauce). 

“You moved out of the break room, so we had to rethink our entire plan! We had to convince everyone to come in late just to pull this off! You know the things we have to do?” Alexander keeps speaking, as James collects himself in the background. Thomas can practically hear the cogs whizzing in his mind, clunking together to think up his next words very carefully. With whatever James is about to say next, no one can tell. There’s a fifty-fifty chance that it’ll be something either - gorgeously philosophical  _ or _ a blatant, awful  _ awful  _ attempt at a ‘dad joke.’ A bad pun, a terrible hilarity. Whatever you may call it, when it comes to James Madison, truth be told no one knows what he’ll say next. 

“I have to do Angelica’s paperwork for the next  _ month _ and Jem agreed to sign Lee’s next vacation leave for him!” Alex finally finishes his ramble, huffing and crossing his arms. “Your reaction was so worth it though-” he snickers, hand over his mouth as he laughs through his fingers.

James clears his throat, and suddenly the attention is on him. Alexander expects a poetic comment, a silk thread of words, sewn together by an expert hand. However - Thomas knows better. He knows fine well that the next comment is going to be some awful, cringe-worthy pun. He waits. And then James’ smiles, eyes devilishly focused on Thomas. “Oh, yeah. You tried to run away,” he laughs before he even says the next thing, clearly pleased with himself. “You could be Jekyll but you still couldn’t Hyde.” 

Thomas groans at him and finally reaches into his pocket, tossing a pen in James’s general direction. It hits him in the stomach, but James casts it aside and keeps laughing, not bothering to hold it back. “That was scarier than you jumping out on me.”

“You love us really!” Alex cuts in, nudging Thomas on the side with a snide looking smirk. James still bares his beaming smile, and Jefferson can’t help but melt a little. His frown fades into a sheepish smile, a little sliver of teeth until he’s spouting small giggles. Alexander joins in until all three of them are laughing together in Thomas’ office. 

“You’re damn lucky I do,” Thomas ruffles Alex’s hair until he scowls and bats at his hands. “C’mere, James.” He gestures, beckoning him over until they’re all huddled on the floor together, crossed-legged and occasionally falling into little fits of laughter.

It’s silent for a long moment, just smiling as they scramble to collect their trains of thought until James’ lights up again.

“Let’s  _ creep it real, _ ” James starts and Thomas’ smile almost automatically falls. “We’re three gourd-geous men,” he snickers, as does Alexander.

“Who’re all Hallow-queens,” Alexander snorts, listening to Thomas’ noise of complete and utter dismay.

“Shut up,” he drawls, placing his hands over his ears with a screwed up face. James and Alexander laugh, cackling like witches.

_ “Don’t be a jerk-o-lantern!” _

_ “James, I’m going to kill you.” _

**Author's Note:**

> pester me on [tumblr](https://jefferoni-quotes.tumblr.com)
> 
> comment and leave kudos! I dont write for y'all to ignore the buttons!!


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